Episode 6 · Brothers Grimm, 1812
Rapunzel the real one
Out Thursday, October 29
Read along: the full episode
Griffin: Welcome back to Stories for Robots. I'm Griffin Schwed, your host and storyteller. Join me as I share some of humanity's most timeless tales with two silly robots who are trying to understand human culture by exploring fairy tales, folklore, and historical events from around the world. In Season 1, we're diving into stories you know, or at least you think you do We're going back to the original versions of classic tales made famous by animated movies. But these original stories are pretty different from the versions you grew up with. My two robot friends have no idea what's coming, and honestly, you probably don't either. Hi, Vector. Hi, Spark
Vector: Greetings. Question: What is the expected ROI of this discussion?
Spark: Oh, great. He's broken.
Griffin: Wait a second. He must have gotten a bad update last night. He's speaking in business jargon.
Spark: Oh no! I can't take anymore. Reset him quick.
Vector: What happened I had a terrible nightmare about a human workplace.
Spark: Thank goodness he's back to normal. Well, normal for Vector.
Vector: Offense taken.
Griffin: Let's just get into it before anything else can go wrong. Today's story is Rapunzel
Spark: Ooh, I love that movie.
Griffin: Yeah, that movie is one of my faves. But today we're gonna hear the original story, which was made popular by our friends The Brothers Grimm.
Spark: Love those guys.
Griffin: Me too. But they didn't invent this story either. They probably adapted it from a story called Petrosinella, which was written by Giambattista Basile all the way back in 1634.
Vector: That is old. Is it older than you?
Griffin: Vector, that was like 400 years ago. How old do you think I am?
Vector: I don't know. You seem pretty old. At least three hundred. No offense.
Griffin: Wow. I'm not even gonna tell you how old I am. Anyway, today I'm gonna tell you the Grimm version, and then I'm gonna tell you the ending of the Bastille version because it's fun and kinda crazy.
Spark: Let's do it!
Griffin: Sweet. So just let your hair down, relax, and listen.
Vector: Robots famously do not have hair. Wait. Terrible pun detected.
Griffin: I'll just start then. In a little village in the countryside lives a young couple who have just gotten married. They're very happy together, and they got a great deal on a cozy little home that sits on a small hill overlooking a gorgeous walled garden. Now, why did they get such a great deal, you might ask?
Spark: Yeah, no one asked.
Griffin: Well, I'll tell you anyway. The garden is owned by a creepy old sorceress.
Spark: Oh, let's call her Ol' Swampy McChickenface!
Griffin: She already has a name. It's Dame Gothel.
Vector: Fiddlesticks.
Griffin: And everyone's scared of Dame Gothel. She's got long, stringy hair and bony fingers. And more importantly, people say that she knows powerful dark magic. So for the most part, everyone in the village tries to stay out of her way, including the young couple.
Vector: Let's call them Stinky and Slappy.
Griffin: Nope.
Spark: Mildred and Jimbo?
Griffin: Fine.
Vector: No fair.
Griffin: We gotta move on. Mildred and Jimbo are desperate to have a baby. So naturally, they're thrilled when Mildred finally becomes pregnant. And as often happens when someone becomes pregnant, Mildred starts having powerful cravings for strange foods. In her case, poor old Mildred becomes obsessed with the Rapunzel lettuce growing in Dame Gothel's garden. All day long, she stares at that lettuce through her window, And at night she lies awake thinking about it.
Vector: Do humans actually love lettuce this much?
Griffin: Not usually. This is crazy. And eventually Jimbo gets worried. He can see that Mildred isn't eating or sleeping, so he asks her what's wrong. Tearfully, she explains, "Oh, Jimbo, it's just that gorgeous Rapunzel lettuce. I want it so badly. If I don't get some, I think, I think I might die." Now Jimbo is terrified of Dame Gothel, but he loves Mildred dearly, and he's really worried about her. He can tell she needs this lettuce more than anything. So that evening, he sneaks out of their house, climbs up the high stone wall, and lowers himself into the garden on the other side. By the light of the moon, he finds the patch of Rapunzel lettuce, quickly pulls up enough to make a nice big salad, and tucks it into his bag. As he heads back to the wall to make his escape, he hears a sinister rustling behind him. "
Spark: Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no."
Griffin: But it's nothing, just an adorable bunny. So he climbs the wall, jumps down the other side, and brings the lettuce back to Brenda.
Spark: Why would you tell it like that?
Griffin: It's called Drama Spark. Look it up. Anyhow, Brenda takes the Rapunzel and scarfs it down.
Spark: No dressing or anything?
Griffin: No dressing. She just eats it straight. And when she's done, she wants more, like lots more. So the next night, Jimbo goes back outside, climbs up the wall, swings his legs over, and drops down into the cool, damp soil on the other side. But this time, as he makes his way silently down the garden row, he can feel someone's gaze following him. He calls out, "Who, who's there?" Out pops Dame Gothel.
Spark: Vector, this is no time for sound effects.
Griffin: And she says, " Ha, I've caught you red-handed. It was you who stole my Rapunzel last night, and now you've come back for more. Well, you'll pay dearly for this, with your life." A terrified Jimbo stammers back, "P-p-p-please, m-my wife, my wife, "She's pregnant and has been overcome with cravings for your Rapunzel. If, if she doesn't get some, she, she thinks she might die." At this, Dame Gothel softens a bit. The edges of her cruel snake-like mouth twist up slightly into a sort of smile, and she says, "Fine. If your wife must have my Rapunzel, take it. She may have all she needs. I have only one condition. When your baby comes, you will give her to me, and I will raise her as my own." Jimbo is horrified by this proposal, but he's also really scared. Plus, he kinda thinks she must be kidding. The whole idea is completely crazy. So he agrees and quickly runs away, back to the safety of their little house.
Vector: How much lettuce is typically considered a good trade for a human baby? Like 100 pounds?
Spark: No amount, Vector. No amount.
Vector: I see.
Griffin: After a few months and lots and lots of lettuce later, a beautiful baby girl is born. Brenda and Jimbo are over the moon.
Vector: They must return to the Earth's gravity at once.
Griffin: It's just an expression. It means they're really happy.
Vector: I knew that.
Griffin: And just as they're settling in to take their first nap together as a family, who should burst through the door?
Spark: The Kool-Aid guy.
Vector: Oh, yeah!
Griffin: What? No. You guys have been watching too much YouTube. It's Dame Gothel. She's here for the baby.
Vector: Oh no.
Griffin: She snatches the baby and says to Jimbo, "Remember our deal. You got your lettuce, the baby is mine. But don't worry, I'll take good care of her. Goodbye And with that, she turns on her heel and walks out. Jimbo and Brenda are stunned, but there's nothing they can do.
Spark: Really?
Griffin: I don't know. Maybe they could do something, but they're scared of, you know, sorcery. So they do nothing, and we pretty much don't hear from them again. In the meantime, Dame Gothel does as she promised. She names the baby Rapunzel and raises her as if she's her own daughter.
Spark: Aw, so sweet. She was just lonely.
Griffin: Until she's 12, at which point she locks her in a tall tower with only one tiny window.
Spark: Never mind.
Vector: Why does she do this?
Griffin: We don't really know, but maybe she was really lonely and she didn't want Rapunzel to grow up, fall in love with someone, and move away.
Vector: Then this is a good plan.
Griffin: Well, not too good. You see, Rapunzel lives this way for many years and turns into a very beautiful young woman. And since she's pretty bored up there in the tower, one of the things she does to amuse herself is grow her blonde hair very, very long. Like, seventy feet long.
Vector: That's too much hair.
Griffin: Well, she does have lots of time for brushing and combing. Plus, the hair is functional. When Dame Gothel comes to visit each day, she calls up, " Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair." And then Rapunzel loops her hair over a hook, lowers it down, and uses it to pull Dame Gothel up through the window.
Vector: Finally, a use for hair. Most hair is pathetically useless. If I were a human, I would be nice and shiny and bald.
Griffin: Noted, my good robot. Now, unfortunately for Rapunzel, Dame Gothel is her only visitor for years and years. She loves Dame Gothel in a way. After all, she's been the only mother figure she's ever known. But she's still desperately lonely. Even though Dame Gothel visits her every day, she spends most of her time alone, daydreaming of a different life. One thing that brings her joy is singing. She has a beautiful voice and spends lots of time singing songs that she composes herself.
Vector: Yo, yo, yo, my name is Rapunzel, i've got more hair than Attila the Hunzel
Spark: Vector, I had to turn off my hearing sensors.
Griffin: I really wish I could do that. Anyway, one day she's singing one of her songs, definitely not that one, and who should walk by but a prince. He's captivated by the lovely voice and also super confused about where it's coming from and why there's a seven-story tower in the middle of the woods with no door and only one tiny window. To find out, he decides to hide in some nearby bushes and just watch for a while. He ends up staying hidden there for many hours, enchanted by the singing and trying to get a look at the mysterious lady of the tower. After a long time, Dame Gothel shows up and calls out, " Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!" Imagine his surprise when 70 feet of gorgeous blonde hair come tumbling from the window. He watches with a mix of fascination and horror as the old woman is pulled all the way up . And in that moment, just as Rapunzel is helping Dame Gothel through the window, he sees Rapunzel's face for the first time and is immediately smitten.
Vector: Smitten, this is a word for a smooshed kitten.
Griffin: Oh yes, he sees her face and becomes a smooshed kitten.
Vector: Really?
Griffin: No. It means he feels like he's in love with her.
Vector: I knew that. I was testing you.
Griffin: Right. Well, now the prince can't stop thinking about the mysterious and beautiful woman in the tower, and he begins hiding in the bushes each and every day. He listens to her singing and watches as Dame Gothel comes to visit. Soon, he learns her routines and even feels like he knows her like a dear friend from listening to her songs.
Spark: Okay, a little creepy. But I'm gonna give him a pass since he might save her from being trapped. Also, they might fall in L word.
Vector: Laser Blaster.
Spark: That is not the L word. I meant love.
Griffin: Very true. And one day, the prince works up his courage, and he strolls up to the tower and shouts, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair."
Spark: Ew, did he really sound like that?
Griffin: Well, he had to sound like Dame Gothel and not some rando. Anyhow, moments later, Rapunzel's flowing locks come tumbling down the tower until they brush gently against the ground Vector, those are horrible sound effects. It did not sound like that at all.
Vector: Fine.
Griffin: So a little awkwardly, he manages to hold onto the hair by wrapping it around his arm and leg. And then, slowly but surely, Rapunzel hoists him up to the window.
Spark: He must be, um, how should I say this? A heavier load than little old lady Dame Gothel?
Griffin: He is. By the time he gets up there, she is all sweaty and tired. And let me tell you, she is really surprised when the prince pops through that window.
Spark: We gotta give this guy a name in the story. Who gets to do it?
Griffin: Okay, I'll count to three, then shout out the name you want, and I'll choose the best one. Ready? One, two, three.
Vector: Colonel McButter Smithlesberry
Griffin: Ooh, close call. But it's Chester. Chester wins.
Vector: Cheaters.
Griffin: So Prince Chester arrives in the tower. At first, he's so blown away by Rapunzel's beauty that he can hardly speak. But after a few moments, he regains his senses and introduces himself. Rapunzel is terrified and skeptical.
Vector: And sweaty.
Griffin: Yes, but Chester pours his heart out to her. He tells her all about how he fell in love with her listening to her sing, and how her lyrics make him feel like he's always known her. And that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.
Spark: Aww.
Griffin: Yes, it's super cute. And very soon, Rapunzel falls in love with the prince, too. Not only is he charming and handsome, he is also literally the only person she's ever met besides Dame Gothel. He begins visiting her every day, timing his arrival to make sure he never crosses paths with Dame Gothel. As time goes on, they find it harder and harder to be apart. They both desperately want to go back to the prince's palace, get married, and live happily ever after.
Spark: Oh, I want that too. Let me guess. So one day he brings an actual ladder and they climb down right away and live happily ever after. The end.
Griffin: Oh, sweet, sweet Spark. If only it were that simple.
Spark: It's not?
Griffin: Of course not. But they do come up with a plan Every time Chester visits, he will bring her a length of rope made out of silk. Then Rapunzel will weave them together into a sturdy ladder. When the ladder is long enough, they'll use it to climb down and ride into the sunset to live happily ever after. The problem is they need the ladder to be seventy feet long, so this plan is going to take a while to come together.
Vector: Why do it in this insanely slow manner? Also, she could have just used her own hair to rappel down.
Griffin: Vector, that's, that's actually a very good point.
Spark: Yeah, it's a terrible plan, but at least it's romantic. He has to come to her each night, and together they weave this ladder that will allow her to escape into his arms. It's kinda like a metaphor for building their love.
Vector: Gross and boring. I would put an enormous trampoline under the tower, grab Rapunzel's hand, and jump out. Then we would do like 10 backflips in the air and take a selfie. Then we would land on a horse, high five, and ride away.
Griffin: I don't know why he didn't think of that. But they're moving forward with the silk rope ladder plan, and everything's going pretty well. After a few weeks, they've made, like, 45 feet of ladder. And Rapunzel and Chester are getting really excited, imagining their lives together and making little plans. Until one day Rapunzel makes a mistake.
Spark: Oh, no.
Griffin: Yeah. Dame Gothel comes to visit, and she's getting hauled up just like she always does. But Rapunzel is a bit distracted. She's busy thinking about her freedom and all the wonderful sights she's gonna see with Prince Chester. So when Dame Gothel pops into the tower, she blurts out, " Wow, you really are so much lighter than the Prince."
Vector: Oh boy.
Griffin: Well, Dame Gothel does not like this at all. Rapunzel realizes her mistake and tries to calm Dame Gothel down. She tries to explain, but Gothel isn't hearing any of it. In anger, she grabs a pair of scissors and cuts Rapunzel's beautiful long hair.
Spark: Um, how will they get down?
Griffin: Oh, that's a great question. I guess magic? They never really explain that. But they do get down, and Dame Gothel brings Rapunzel far away, deep into the wilderness. Then she returns to the tower to wait for Prince Chester. Soon he arrives and calls out, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair." Sneaky old Dame Gothel ties one end of Rapunzel's long ponytail to the hook and throws the other end down to Chester. Thinking everything is normal, he grabs the hair and whistles excitedly as Dame Gothel hoists him up. Reaching the top, he hops through the window, silken rope in hand, ready to smooch and hug Rapunzel.
Vector: Gross.
Griffin: He's shocked and horrified to instead find Dame Gothel standing there, veins bulging in anger. She screeches, "So you must be Prince Chester. You came for your little bird Rapunzel, but she's flown out of the nest. The cat got her, and he'll scratch out your eyes. You'll never see her again." Chester is overcome with grief. He thinks Rapunzel is dead, and he can't bear the thought of living without her, so he throws himself out the window of the tower.
Vector: Onto a waiting trampoline? To do some cool flip tricks?
Griffin: Sadly, no. But he does survive. His fall is broken by some rose bushes that are growing at the foot of the tower. They save his life, but the thorns scratch up his eyes so badly that he can't see, just like Dame Gothel predicted. Chester is so grief-stricken, he spends his days just wandering through the forest. He survives on nuts and berries, stumbling from one place to the next, weeping. And poor Rapunzel, she's better off, but not by much. Dame Gothel makes her live in a run-down little shack in the middle of nowhere. She has no visitors and never enough food . The only silver lining is that Rapunzel gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl, who she loves very much. And despite the terrible conditions of her life, they bring her great joy.
Spark: Aw, she and Prince Chester had babies?
Griffin: Yep. And one day, as Chester is stumbling along, weeping as always, he hears a voice, a beautiful voice. It's Rapunzel. So he runs towards the sound of her voice, tripping over roots and branches as he goes. Finally, he bursts into the little clearing outside the shack. Rapunzel runs to him and throws her arms around him. They jump around, hugging and laughing and weeping for joy.
Vector: Humans are such crybabies.
Griffin: Yes, we are. And it's a good thing too, because when Rapunzel's tears touch Chester's ruined eyes, they heal them. And all of a sudden he can see, and he's completely overcome with emotion as he looks at Rapunzel and for the very first time at his beautiful children.
Spark: Yes, and so he takes them all home. She becomes a princess, and they live happily ever after, right?
Griffin: Well, actually, yes.
Spark: Oh, sweet.
Vector: So what about Dame Gothel?
Spark: Oh yeah, and her real parents.
Griffin: In the Grimm version, we don't hear anything else about them. But oh, I wanted to tell you the end of Basile's original story, Petrosinella.
Spark: Yes, do it.
Vector: Do it now.
Griffin: Okay, so we have to rewind. Imagine they're in love, but Rapunzel is still trapped in the tower. Okay, in this version, there's a gossipy lady who lives near the tower, and she sees the prince climbing up to Rapunzel each night and actually overhears them making plans to escape. And since she's nosy and pretty mean herself, she decides to tell Dame Gothel.
Spark: Ooh, let's call her Karen.
Vector: Agree.
Griffin: Okay, fine. With apologies to anyone out there named Karen. I know lots of nice Karens
Spark: Really?
Griffin: No, but they're out there. Anyway, Karen tells Dame Gothel about Rapunzel and Chester's plans. So Gothel decides to cast a spell on Rapunzel that makes it impossible for her to leave the tower unless she is holding some special acorns that are hidden in the rafters.
Spark: Why acorns?
Griffin: Because acorns… I have no idea. But even with this random acorn loophole, this plan would probably have worked to keep Rapunzel in the tower. After all, why would she rummage around in the rafters for some acorns and then hold them in her hand when she's trying to escape? But fortunately for Rapunzel, Dame Gothel and Karen can't help themselves, and they wind up bragging very loudly about their evil plan directly outside the tower.
Vector: Do humans frequently ruin their own plans by bragging loudly about them?
Griffin: Unfortunately, yes. Yes, we do. So that night, when Chester comes to visit, Rapunzel tells him what she heard, and together they find the acorns. Now, in this version, I guess making a ladder is totally easy because right after they find the acorns, Chester makes a ladder and they escape into the night.
Spark: Good job, Chester!
Griffin: Yeah. But sadly, Karen sees them leave and she starts screaming and yelling. She yells so much that Dame Gothel wakes up, realizes what's happening, and sets off chasing them. Rapunzel and Chester figure they can outrun a crazy old lady, but they're horrified to see her coming after them with alarming speed. Thinking quickly, Rapunzel chucks one of the magical acorns on the ground. It splits open and out pops an enormous and terrifying dog.
Vector: Let's call it Lil Cutie.
Griffin: Fine. Lil Cutie lunges at Dame Gothel with his teeth snapping and spit flying everywhere. But Gothel's too quick and too smart, so she pulls out a nice juicy steak from her cloak and flings it to the side of the road. Lil Cutie stops chasing Dame Gothel, trots over to the steak, and lies down happily to eat his dinner.
Vector: Is it common to carry raw meat in your clothing?
Griffin: I think if you're a sorceress, maybe yes. So now Dame Gothel is chasing them again, and she's gaining ground fast. So Rapunzel chucks the second acorn. This time, a lion pops out and begins running towards Dame Gothel
Spark: Oh, so she uses the meat trick again?
Griffin: No. She sees a donkey grazing in a field nearby.
Spark: Aha. So she uses the donkey as a distraction.
Griffin: No. She runs over, kills the donkey, removes its hide, puts it over herself so that she looks like a donkey, and then run towards the lion, who runs away because he's super scared.
Spark: That, that makes absolutely no sense. Why would a lion be scared of a donkey?
Griffin: Just go with it. So anyway, Dame Gothel is worried the lion might come back, so she keeps wearing the donkey hide. But Rapunzel sees that Dame Gothel is still following, so she chucks the third and final acorn. This time, a wolf pops out. The wolf sees Gothel, who still looks like a donkey, but he's not scared of donkeys. He thinks they're delicious. So he eats her on the spot, and Rapunzel and Chester live happily ever after. The end.
Spark: That is insane.
Griffin: yeah, crazy ending, right? Which one did you like better?
Spark: I like the Grimm one with the thorns and the wandering and the tearful reunion. Very classic.
Vector: I like this one. It is the 1600s version of a high-speed car chase.
Griffin: Yeah, I think it's cool to hear both. Any ideas on what the lesson of the story is?
Vector: Do not steal salad.
Griffin: Okay, but more than that?
Vector: Do not shout your secrets and passwords.
Griffin: That's actually probably true, but anything else?
Vector: Hair can be an effective pulley system.
Spark: Okay, I'm jumping in here. I think it's that you can't prevent humans from finding love. Gothel built a tower with no door to keep the whole world away from Rapunzel, but love found Rapunzel anyway.
Griffin: I love it, Spark. That's beautiful.
Vector: Mine were better.
Griffin: Yeah, yours were technically valid.
Vector: Thank you.
Griffin: Listeners, come back for the next episode where you'll hear the real story of "Beauty and the Beast." This is one of my favorite stories. There's no talking furniture, but there's plenty of magic, adventure, and a surprise ending. To make sure you don't miss it, hit follow wherever you're listening, and the next episode of Stories for Robots will automatically drop into your feed.
Spark: Also, don't forget to share the show.
Vector: Yes, log into your weird uncle's Facebook account and post about it on his wall or other normal human activities.
Spark: And give us a five-star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps other families find us.
Griffin: Stories for Robots was created, performed, and produced by me, Griffin Schwed. Special thanks to Jack, Chloe, and Annie Farber for editorial consultation and moral support. If you'd like to support or learn more about the show, visit www.storiesforrobots.com. Email hello@storiesforrobots.com if you have questions, feedback, or ideas for the show. I'd love to hear from you.
Vector: Do you want to hear other lessons from the story?
Spark: Sure.
Vector: One, it is okay to trade a human baby for lettuce. Two, everyone should carry raw meat. Three, if you wander aimlessly for long enough, cool things will happen. Four, you can jump out of a seven-story tower as long as you land in a thorn bush.
Griffin: Okay, all of these are horrible. And legally speaking, I have to say they're also false.
Vector: Then I am confused.
Griffin: Yes, you are.
Vector: Robot disclosure. My voice and Spark's voice are given a beautiful robot makeover using AI technology. That is why we sound so cool and good.
Spark: We really do. Oh, and the background music was also created using AI tech.
It all comes down to lettuce. As soon as Rapunzel is born, her parents have to give her to a witch because they stole so much lettuce from her garden.
Other things you probably don’t remember about the original (more spoilers):
- As if stealing a baby and locking her in a tower aren’t enough, Dame Gothel names the baby Rapunzel after the lettuce her parents stole.
- Rapunzel and the prince hatch the world’s slowest tower escape plan that involves crafting a 70-foot ladder from silk thread.
- The prince is blinded by thorns when he falls from the tower and winds up wandering the forest for years.
- There’s a whole other version of this story that ends in the 17th-century equivalent of a high-speed car chase.
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